In my dreams, the women are drumming,
their waters are rising, silver and wild.
Making prayers of their bodies,
they dance as if swimming
under the Moon Mother spell.
© Angela Bigler 2016
Two Leo moons orbit the heart of my sky.
Warm gravity bonds – flows with love.
Love, the essence of our days together.
What was it they said about love?
It’s everything. It’s all you need. It’s vast and unexpected.
Two Leo Moons – mother and daughter, soft and bright.
We take big chances in the life – rearrange the heart,
accommodate each other’s limbs and prayers.
Mother Moon, I wanted you to stay with me,
but your path led to heaven’s spirit place.
Daughter moon, I wished for you to be safe,
but I see your path must breathe.
Follow your wild paws to uncharted islands,
rainforest jungles, oceans and sand.
Journeys, wishes, wisdoms born of you.
Beyond the moments our hearts beat together,
our celestial roots stretch endlessly,
beam across your distant lands,
where lionesses roar and dream.
We reach up to the heavens,
through realms and mysteries.
Two Leo moons, one Libra heart
spin through the galaxy.
© Angela Bigler 2016
In 1908, when Emily Carr painted the First Nation totem poles in British Columbia, she heard their strong talk roaring across the wild beaches. They were still speaking their truth even though they’d been wind beaten and faded, even though many were abandoned. This was forever strong talk.
Emily Carr was alone in the sweltering heat with the relentless mosquitoes when she talked to the ghosts and inhaled the strong talk of the ancestors. She could have wished for comfort and gone home, instead she kept on painting and that old talk spoke again through her determined paintbrush.
Sometimes you want to tell the world your story. Or maybe tell one person, just one truth.
I was scared when I was little, there were voices in the dark and they were sneaking in the window, mean and ugly. They told me that my voice was insignificant, told me I must be quiet to survive and I believed them.
What if I became a totem and told my own story? What if I was thirty-feet tall and blue, yellow, red and green and carved with the strength of my voice? Could there be strong talk in me? Would someone like Emily hear it? I’d like to think she would paint me with riots of color, thick coats of bright paint and layers of voice.
I want to be an instrument like that and make my own strong talk, spitting my words like wind on a reed. My breath would travel upwards from my roots to my heart, over my chords and out of my mouth, gaining power as it flowed over the wood to your ears, then strong talk would roar out of me.
Her songs are earth deep mantras calling names of constellations into being.
Her light soaked in, released the magic pine and herbs.
All those folded flowers lifted up their sacred prayers – water, light, dirt, love.
Her gifts – who could forget them?
Did you see her gentle curves?
The way her spine supports her children?
It’s impossible to live without her heaven/earth transcendence.
Aren’t we all turning, turning with the planet that she raised?
I knew there was no god
When the mother rabbit came back later, looking,
After the crows swooped in and took her hidden babies.
Still, it comforts to believe in something, to connect.
There is heart, there is light,
There is nature, lovely and mean.
Maybe we aren’t preordained beings
or soap opera stars watched by gods.
Maybe we are just living,
Praying to our own creations,
Helps me breathe sparks of
Divinity, miracles, hope.
Keeps me going when the crows are closing in.
If I were like you I would dive in nose first,
and bark and protect and attack.
I would cover the house in layers of fur
so you could forever breath me.
Now your fur is up in the trees;
tucked in the crows’ beaks,
they built the spring nests,
warmed their eggs in your softness;
the chicks hatch in your wolfy fleece.
I imagine you curled up asleep while I dream
and you eating apples with me.
When I watch the birds, you are hunting;
When I walk the block, you’re ahead.
They talk about seasons and life and its wheel;
I hate it and I want you back.
I want to be nuzzled,
I want to be loved the way you love;
The way no one can.
All I can do is go on just like you;
snout first and crazy and free.
Never give up or be caged
That’s what my Bailey taught me.
© Angela Bigler 2014
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